It does, doesn't it? I was right shite at most sports, [Got him made fun of, among other things] but I liked watching it.
I bet being a werewolf helped with sports though--I mean, would it? [He laughs a little, bright and quick.] I really don't know anything about werewolves besides fictional things. So I guess we're on equal footing on the non-human thing we are.
It did, a little. We're faster and stronger and more agile. But it's riskier too - shifting between human and wolf is tied to our heart rate, and if it goes up too much our body recognizes it as part of our fight or flight response.
[So basically if they weren't careful, they could definite wolf out in the middle of the game.]
But that's a lot of why we did sports - because it gave us a practical way to learn control on non-full moon nights.
Stop me if I ask too many questions. How about you ask me questions too? That way we learn together. Though it sounds like you all might understand your situation better than we do.
Are all of you werewolves? Or are there humans, too?
[It sounds good, in a way, to have such a good structure. Not that he would wish this undead thing on anyone, despite Simon's whole...'idea' that they were better than others.]
Almost six years now. I was 18 when I died, and then I rose about six months after. I wasn't like I am now, though, for all of it.
Yeah. Not--not completely like the movies, we definitely could reason, and think, but on a base level. Everything was about [A shrug, tugging at a piece of grass.] eating. I mostly remember hunger.
Yeah. Like, if their mom was a wolf, but their dad was human, it's a fifty-fifty shot they'll be human too.
[It's not common, but it happens. She frowns at what she describes though.]
Full moons are kind of like that. If you lose control, all you want to do is hunt and kill. Nothing else matters. Any ... higher thinking is funneled into that objective.
Is there anything you guys can do to fight that--the losing control?
We take medication, but it took everything in me to fight it when I was forced to go 'rabid' as we call it. But I don't know if I was able to fight it because it was brought on by the thing that was given to me, instead of naturally, or if I really was able to fight it.
We seem to recognize people--our family so... [He trails off.]
Maybe everyone could fight through it, given the chance.
I wonder if that would work for us. I mean--we're obviously not the same. [He doesn't want to offend her by implying that, but still.] But the medication we take, it builds synapses back in our brains...focusing could hone that, in a relapse.
[She's not saying it's outside the realm of possibilities, but at the same time she doesn't know much about zombies.]
Maybe if you practice it in combination with the medicine it'll make it easier to stay in control. It's just a matter of ... drowning out the hunger with something stronger.
Maybe--it really really isn't safe. And if something happened, if I slipped up, the administration might send me home--I can't afford that. I'm...I'm not close to my incentive yet.
Is there anything the representatives could do to make sure it doesn't?
[She can understand the idea of not wanting to be in any more debt than he had to be, but at the same time ...]
They have all kinds of medicine and magic. I get that you might not want to rely on them for everything, but I can't imagine that they want some kind of undead outbreak all over Eudio either.
Maybe? But--I just...it just seems like a big risk.
[He worries at his pants for moment, then decides to pick up his sketch book, flicking through the pages.]
I don't want to rely on them. I want to do this without them, as much as I can. I feel like using them too much is cheating. And--given what happened back home, trusting governments never works out that well.
[No one had ever offered to sketch her before. That's cool and she may be slightly flattered.]
And because I know what it's like to lose control and not be able to stop myself from hurting someone. If there's a way that I can help you not go through that again? I want to at least try.
[Kieren smiles, and pulls out a pencil, slowly starting to work, looking from his paper to her face. It's a natural movement, not trying to make her feel uncomfortable.]
I really appreciate it. Some people just don't understand--I don't blame them, but it's hard, sometimes, trying to explain the fear to people who have never had to worry about something inside of them, like that.
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I bet being a werewolf helped with sports though--I mean, would it? [He laughs a little, bright and quick.] I really don't know anything about werewolves besides fictional things. So I guess we're on equal footing on the non-human thing we are.
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[So basically if they weren't careful, they could definite wolf out in the middle of the game.]
But that's a lot of why we did sports - because it gave us a practical way to learn control on non-full moon nights.
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[He puts a hand up, giving a sheepish smile.]
Stop me if I ask too many questions. How about you ask me questions too? That way we learn together. Though it sounds like you all might understand your situation better than we do.
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[She gives a small smile.]
My mom was the alpha, and our family had been a powerful pack for a long time.
[Until one Argent managed to burn it all to the ground. But she's not here to talk about that.]
How long have you been ... undead?
[She tried to be delicate about it, but Cora's usually at her best when she's blunt.]
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[It sounds good, in a way, to have such a good structure. Not that he would wish this undead thing on anyone, despite Simon's whole...'idea' that they were better than others.]
Almost six years now. I was 18 when I died, and then I rose about six months after. I wasn't like I am now, though, for all of it.
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[She nods a bit, because that sounds rough, especially happening to someone so young.]
Was it anything like the movies? Like ... shambling and ...
[She waves her hand in front of her face.]
Nobody home?
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[He nods.]
Yeah. Not--not completely like the movies, we definitely could reason, and think, but on a base level. Everything was about [A shrug, tugging at a piece of grass.] eating. I mostly remember hunger.
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Yeah. Like, if their mom was a wolf, but their dad was human, it's a fifty-fifty shot they'll be human too.
[It's not common, but it happens. She frowns at what she describes though.]
Full moons are kind of like that. If you lose control, all you want to do is hunt and kill. Nothing else matters. Any ... higher thinking is funneled into that objective.
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We take medication, but it took everything in me to fight it when I was forced to go 'rabid' as we call it. But I don't know if I was able to fight it because it was brought on by the thing that was given to me, instead of naturally, or if I really was able to fight it.
We seem to recognize people--our family so... [He trails off.]
Maybe everyone could fight through it, given the chance.
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[Which is appropriate enough, really.]
Something that we focus on in order to link us to our humanity. It could be a person, or an emotion? My brother uses anger. I usually use my mom.
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Not that I want to test it out, though.
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[She's not saying it's outside the realm of possibilities, but at the same time she doesn't know much about zombies.]
Maybe if you practice it in combination with the medicine it'll make it easier to stay in control. It's just a matter of ... drowning out the hunger with something stronger.
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[It isn't for him; he would care less if it was.]
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[She can understand the idea of not wanting to be in any more debt than he had to be, but at the same time ...]
They have all kinds of medicine and magic. I get that you might not want to rely on them for everything, but I can't imagine that they want some kind of undead outbreak all over Eudio either.
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[He worries at his pants for moment, then decides to pick up his sketch book, flicking through the pages.]
I don't want to rely on them. I want to do this without them, as much as I can. I feel like using them too much is cheating. And--given what happened back home, trusting governments never works out that well.
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[And it really is fair enough. She was just trying to make sure all their bases are covered.]
Well, we can try it and see if we can figure it out. But it may involve digging into those feelings that you feel when you're about to lose control.
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[Kieren looks over at her, smiling softly.]
Do you--is it okay if I sketch you? I won't show anyone, unless you agree to it, I promise.
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[No one had ever offered to sketch her before. That's cool and she may be slightly flattered.]
And because I know what it's like to lose control and not be able to stop myself from hurting someone. If there's a way that I can help you not go through that again? I want to at least try.
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I really appreciate it. Some people just don't understand--I don't blame them, but it's hard, sometimes, trying to explain the fear to people who have never had to worry about something inside of them, like that.